Say you’re close with the betrothed and can’t afford the wedding or a related obligation, like being in the bridal party. “The worst thing you can do is have the money fears override the friendship,” Goren says.
So discuss your money concern with the bride or groom — soon, ideally months before the event.
“Good friends will understand if you’re honest and transparent,” Bejar says. Avoid complaining or making the conversation about you. Instead, ask what’s most important to your loved one, then brainstorm and possibly compromise.
For example, maybe your friend most values your presence at the wedding and is OK with you passing on bridesmaid duty (and the hair, makeup and outfit expenses that may come with it).
Whether you find solutions or not, Bejar suggests acknowledging the importance of this milestone. “Brides and grooms want to feel special,” she says.